No signs of Riga mortis

The show has spiralled in size over the past ten years, with new former Eastern-bloc countries joining the fray and seeking their chance at European pop domination. Of course, this year sees perhaps the most successful current pop act in the world taking part with Russia’s tATu, but the controversy surrounding them during the week has been far more interesting than anything they may, or may not, do on stage tomorrow night.

At their first press conference, the girls preferred to sit hunched over scraps of paper drawing little lovehearts and refusing to look at the 1,000 members of the press in front of them. Of course there were questions about their sleeping arrangements in Riga, but it was our own Lorraine Kelly (who will be reading out the UK votes during the show) who perhaps summed the ladies up best: "Pretending to be lesbians. It’s all a bit silly really and degrading to the lifestyle. I don’t think the song’s up to much either."

So, Russia’s semi-serious attempt aside, what other joys await us ? Lyrics always play an important part . Let’s return to our Austrian friend again. The profound message he will be delivering goes like this: "Little rabbits have stubby noses, and little kittens have fluffy paws, but Mrs Holle prefers to knit with the wool of the African dromedary."

The Germans hit a lot closer to the mark, as tangerine-haired Lou, 39 (and counting), belts out the suggestion: "Let’s get happy and let’s be gay." I’m sure tATu would approve, but then they described Lou during the week as a crusty old hag whom they would kick out of their bed.

The fun-loving Belgians have decided to sing in a made-up language (presumably so no-one can send up their lyrics). Top marks, however, must go to former Ukranian boxing champion, Olexandr, whose up-tempo homage to Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hasta la Vista, ends with the immortal words "Goodbye, you arsehole".

Norway - so often associated with the dreaded "null points" - has sent piano-playing Jostein, an 18-year-old Gilbert O’Sullivan soundalike with a strange look (imagine the love child of Brad Pitt and Miss Piggy). He won’t be last. That honour is surely saved for Romanian Nicola and her stage act involving a DJ lolling about the floor and a lady dancer who takes off three layers of clothing while flying around the stage.

So, where is the serious money going? Russia is still favourite with the bookies and is likely to be among the front-runners, but many journalists around the Skonto Hall are tipping the home team from Latvia to "do the double". Their two-boys-and-a-girl trio, FLY, look and sound like a modern day Abba and are winning fans with their infectious pop anthem, Hello from Mars.

Spain picked its entry using a Fame Academy-style route, and has selected pint-sized Beth, sporting a fine assortment of piercings and splendid dreadlocks, to sing the song Tell Me. It is a fast and funky offering, likely to appeal to Kylie fans the continent over, and as such will get a bucketload of votes.

Ireland’s singer, Mickey Harte (the man with a smile to melt the coldest of hearts), also finds himself in Riga after winning the Pop Idol clone You’re a star (Euro star - geddit?). We’ve got the world is currently No 1 in the Emerald Isle and two planes have been chartered to bring 400 enthusiastic supporters over for what promises to be a long weekend of celebrations should he deliver national television station RTE its eighth win - and the nightmare of holding the contest next year.

My money, however, is on the last song of the night. Voluptuous blonde bombshell Karmen from Slovenia will have viewers from Reykjavik to Jerusalem tapping their toes to the song with perhaps the most quintessential Eurovision title of the night: Nanana.

We should really mention the UK entrants, Jemini (a kind of H & Claire Lite). Sadly, we are not rated highly by those in the know, so it may be a case of Cry Baby when the votes are cast.

Our Latvian hosts have taken this project to their hearts, going overboard to ensure artists, writers, choreographers and a plethora of hairdressers have their needs satisfied. There is a sense of pride as Riga prepares for the event which promises spectacle (the stage is awesome), drama (tATu), high camp (take your pick), and some jolly nice pop tunes to boot.

The Eurovision Song Contest is broadcast live on BBC1 from 8pm tomorrow night